Do Not Ignore the Authoress 2

"There you are, now just step out of there," the Doctor was beckoning to, though he didn't know it, the Doctor.

The Doctor gulped and stepped outside.  The Master followed a step or so behind, trying, in vain, to hide an ever-widening smile.

"Quit it," the Doctor threatened, whispering over his shoulder to him.

The Master snorted, stifling a giggle as he stared straight at the earlier Doctor, "But it's just too funny…"

"And what's so funny, might I ask?" The younger Doctor snapped.

The Master swallowed and was going to say, "Nothing" but he just couldn't help himself, he covered his mouth quickly, leaning slightly on the Doctor to keep from falling over from the sheer hilarity of the situation.

The Doctor, both really, passed him a withering glance.  

"Brigadier, we've captured the Master. Captain Yates is currently questioning him," Simpkins returned to the Brigadier.

"Thank you Simpkins, tell him I'll be there in a moment."

"What?" the Master stopped laughing, looking up.

The Doctor could have stepped on his foot for that as everyone's expression turned to one of suspicious curiosity.

"You… know the Master?" the Doctor asked, the most suspicious of all.

The Master groaned, rolling his eyes at his own stupidity.

"No, no, not at all," the Doctor answered for him, "my friend here just thought his name sounded odd, I mean 'the Master', who'd call themselves the Master?" The Doctor snorted.

The Master glanced at him, but said nothing.

"Yes… quite," the Doctor frowned, "Well, take them in Brigadier, I'll question them personally."
-
"So… you're Mr. Tyler… Captain Yates said you're from the future, is that right?"

Mr. Tyler sighed, "Yes, I'm from the year 2007, got a problem with that?" He didn't look up at her.

Demon grinned, "On the contrary… I think that's brilliant."
-
The Doctor closed the door slowly giving the room a definite air of impressive silence and no means of escape.

The Doctor, the one sitting in handcuffs, swallowed nervously, glancing around.  Whoever was responsible for this was completely mad.  And Demon was missing. He wasn't going to pretend that the thought hadn't crossed his mind that she might be the one responsible, what with her slave-ship to the Master and affinity for mischief, but this was a bit villainous, even for her.  But if she WASN'T responsible, then an even larger problem was presented in that this was a paradox AND she was 'missing', which usually meant 'held captive by some evildoer with a vendetta against the Doctor'.  He could just about start crying from panic.

The Master looked around carefully.  He remembered this room… and if he remembered correctly, there was an observation deck not-so-secretly hidden above them where the Brigadier and that insufferable child, Jo Grant, were no doubt watching the not-so-attractive Doctor's every move.  He glanced at the earlier Doctor and wondered briefly how he could have EVER found him attractive.  Still… if he hadn't then he may not have found this newer model, which would have been very sad indeed.

"Now, I suppose you two gentlemen realize that it was a TARDIS you were flying?" the Doctor questioned, pacing in front of them.

"Was it?  I had no idea," the Doctor pulled a shocked face looking at the Master.  The Master had to admit, he was QUITE good at playing dumb, in fact, it amused him so much he'd go so far to say that he wasn't playing.

The Master shrugged like he didn't know what a TARDIS was either.

The inquiring Doctor rolled his eyes, "Don't play dumb with me.  Only someone who knew how to fly a TARDIS would have been able to land it here."

"But, I'm telling ya' honest, I had no idea what was going on!  Me and Jim, his name's Jim, just stepped inside and the thing just came to life!  It was like magic!" He'd tried the, 'Hey, I'm the Doctor too!' technique with Five, hadn't worked, he thought maybe this would be more successful.

The Doctor looked deep into the other Doctor's eyes.  The younger-looking Doctor tried hard not to flinch, he was…

"No…"

Yep. He knew.

The Doctor sighed, "Yes, I'm the Doctor too, hello," the Doctor waved one of his handcuffed hands.

"Doctor!" the first Doctor was shocked, he took a step back, "But… how could you?  This is a paradox!  You know perfectly well you can't be here!"

"Yeah… there's the thing, I didn't bring myself here, sorry."

"No?  Then, who did?  And who is this?  Your new companion?"
-
"So, what's your evil plan today, Master?" Captain Yates questioned dryly.

The Master sat primly in a chair across from him, "Can't I just stop by to say hello every once in awhile?" he answered smartly.

Captain Yates rolled his eyes, "Be serious Master, you're never here 'just to say hello'."

The Master nodded, "True.  Well, if you must know, the TARDIS feed alerted me to a paradox in this area, which, knowing the Doctor, is all his fault, and I came to watch," he smiled darkly, his beard quirking upwards.

Yates frowned, "A paradox?  What do you mean a paradox?"

"I mean exactly what I say.  A paradox happens when two things that cannot exist together in the same time stream DO exist together.  For instance, if I went back to where I was yesterday and saw myself, that's a paradox because there is only one of me, yet here I am again.  It causes great distress to the time vortex and must be sorted out immediately or risk causing, oh, I don't know black holes, rifts in the time-space-continuum, electrical blasts from neighboring galaxies, that sort of thing."

Captain Yates dropped his pencil, "This is serious."

"Yes, quite," the Master brushed off his jacket, "now, will you please release me so I can watch?"

Captain Yates barely heard him as he snatched up his walkie-talkie, "Brigadier!  We've got a serious problem, get the Doctor in here NOW!"

The Brigadier eventually crackled back, "We have a serious problem here too. There are two Doctors!"

"A paradox…" Captain Yates whispered, "Come on, you're coming with me!" Captain Yates pulled the Master up.

"Do NOT man-handle me, Captain!  Now, where are we going?" he glared.

"You're going to help sort out this paradox..." Captain Yates commanded, pulling him forward.
-
"So… you can take me back?  Where I came from?" Mr. Tyler barely dared to hope.

Demon grinned, nodding, "Mm-hmm, and all you have to do is say a few little words when the time comes."

"How will I know when it is?" he begged.

"Oh, you'll know, trust me… this is going to be spectacular."

Mr. Tyler wasn't entirely sure why she said it that way, but that hiss sounded oddly familiar.
-
"I'm the…"

"New Companion, yes, yes, absolutely, this is Jim, that bit was true," the Doctor cut him off hurriedly.

The Doctor frowned, "I've certainly become hyperactive in my old age," the older Doctor pouted, "tell me, how many regenerations ahead of me are you?"

"Seven…" the Doctor sighed.

"Seven?  My goodness, Ten regenerations!  I never thought I'd live that long!"

"Oy!  I'm not that old!  Look younger than you anyway," the Tenth Doctor commented.

The Master snickered, that almost made up for refusing him the pleasure of watching Three open and close his mouth like a fish by revealing to him that he was the Master.

Three glared, "It's not like we can choose what we look like."

The Brigadier burst in, "Doctor!  You will come with me!"

"Brigadier, I must ask you not to just barge in while I'm-"

"Doctor, this cannot wait, you AND your future self must come with me to rectify this situation.  Have you realized that this is a paradox?  It must be stopped immediately!"

Ten grinned, "Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, aw, I've missed you."

"Have you?" the Brigadier paused, "Thank you Doctor, some people appreciate me," he glared pointedly at Three.  Three rolled his eyes.

The Master was about ready to gag at this happy reunion, "Wasn't there some urgent paradox that has to be fixed?"

"Yes, indeed, now, you must all come with me!" the Brigadier motioned to the door.

"Could we get out of these first?" Ten rattled his handcuffs.

"Sure we don't want to keep them?" the Master suggested, not-so-quietly.

The Brigadier and Three both stared at them as Ten blushed and hurriedly unlocked the handcuffs.

"Right, let's go," Ten jumped up, leading the way.  The Master trailed behind, grabbing a pair.
-
And then the world came crashing down…

"This way," The Brigadier and Captain Yates rounded opposite corners of the same hall, and this hall just happened to be the same hall with the holding cell for Demon and Mr. Tyler (because in Crack Classic Who, it ALWAYS happens that way).  

"Doctor!"

"Master!"

"Master?"

"Who …?"

"Doctor!"

"Master!"

"Master?"

"Brigadier!"

"Captain!"

"Brigadier!"

"Master!"

"DoctorS?"

"Master…"

"Doctor?"

"Master!"

"Doctor…"

"Doctor…"

"MASTER!"

"AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA  AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA AHA!"

At last, everyone quieted down and turned to stare at the holding cell where one Sam Tyler sat, cackling madly.

"Doctor, Doctor, Master, Master, Brigadier, Captain… how's the paradox?" Demon smiled a PERFECT evil!grin.